Of Tranquil Fantasies

Hello. This is Ivan. My holidays had come to an end recently, bringing a fresh start to my life at university once again. Having past two weeks at the university, I must admit that I had been enjoying life here with people new and old and of course, I do enjoy the classes too. I'm beginning to study Biotechnology at a greater depth and this has ultimately caught most of my interest. I find it rather fascinating; the techniques and procedures that one can perform to transform and enhance certain aspects of a plant and so on. I'd look forward to almost any class. However, undeniably, some lecturers have been rather difficult to catch up with. Nonetheless, I'd still pay focus to their classes. Alright, that would be enough emphasis on that subject. Class wasn't the main reason why I woke up at 8:30 AM in the morning to start scribing this post. Actually, I had wanted to describe my recent weekends in the best way I can put it in words, having met new people and having experienced an almost different lifestyle. Yes, it had been that fun. That’s why I wished it could last forever. Yet, for that, only time can tell.

It’s amazing what one person can do to your life. It might be rather flattering to say this but, it’s even more amazing how much change had formed in me because of that one person. Do take note that this change wasn’t exactly made to adapt to the situation; rather, it was more of a change – perhaps in an attempt to emulate the greater characteristics of another. On the recent weeks before class, I had my hair cut. It was quite a shocker for everyone as I had been stubbornly growing my hair like grass, not intending to have it cut. The thought of keeping it through the whole semester was also part of my considerations. However, it was that faithful day after a hike to Bukit Gasing that had me decided and acted on behalf of my hair. And because of that, apparently, Ivan looks much younger than he had for the past whole year. Now that my hair’s short again, I am beginning to get used to it and maybe like it too. And yes, they can also finally stop with the ‘put on a dress and fit perfectly.

In the recent weeks, I was also amazed on how much I could actually perform. Well, part of this had me performing as a driver but I’m okay with that. With just that little push, I was often motivated to put in effort in almost everything. Well, for the weekends, it wouldn’t be for class. Instead, I’d used that energy planning for trips and expeditions to utilize our youth and the time that we still have together. Normally, our usual group of friends would not have gone to Sungai Tekala unless it was planned readily and thoroughly and bombarded by queries. However, this one went smoothly. It was also amazing how much I enjoy studying and getting to know new roads now, all for the sake of being able to get to a new destination for the others to enjoy. Despite often having a role in the planning of most outings, I was often in doubt – I had often asked myself if things would go well. However, my doubts were often doused when I witnessed how they enjoyed. I could always smile to myself just from that. The success of previous trips and their enjoyment being together provided me with enough foundation to attempt to plan another trip. This time, we made it to Malacca and that too was a moment etched permanently in memory.

Lastly, I have to be amazed on the extent of laughter I can generate in someone. I don’t actually see myself as a funny person, or someone whom can often bring about the smiles of another. I had often considered myself to be a player from the back, providing much support to the situation. Yet, in the recent weeks, I see myself more as a leader as I took the reins and handled many situations directly. I also found out that I can generate smiles and joy in that other individual, whom which she was actually providing me with the motivation to place extra effort in. Ivan, being a somewhat sentimental person, places much value in the smile of others. And because of that, he was relentless in his efforts to bring about the smile of others, especially hers. On and on, I would always have something to say to her to make her smile and sometimes even laugh. Sometimes I’d be a clown in doing so, but it was never that important to me; the results proved worthwhile. That one person could smile once and I could have been smiling all along for the whole day. It wasn’t only her whom I had chosen to entertain – I had also strived to provide entertainment for the entire group of friends and thankfully, I had often been supported by their constructive contribution. And because of that, we all were laughing together. And again, that was something to remember.

 Today, I woke up asking myself if everything mentioned above could last a lifetime. I asked myself whether I would always have that energy to boost and to perform for everyone. I asked myself if such a motivation could endure the test of time. And to be frank, even being an optimist failed to provide me with the answer to my queries. Thinking back, I realised that I still want to see her genuine smile. I still want to be able to make her smile that way and of course, to have her laugh. I still want everyone to stay within the same group and maintain the current connections. I still want to see everyone laughing. If I was the spider to this web, can I maintain it? Can my motivation survive to form the spindle for this simple web? I don’t know... However, I am reminded that the future is a huge uncertainty. Yet, I believe we can wield ourselves to pave the road we choose to walk on – we are the masters of our own choices.  With this theory, I decided at 9:15 AM – I will continue to contribute to the group to see them smile with all my effort. And with this choice, I end my post with a smile.

When I placed myself on the cushion and begin to weave my thoughts into fine legible threads, I look back to see that most birthdays passed with a celebration. I think about my associates, friends and family, and realise that it marks an individual event; a celebration held regardless of one's success or failure. With that, I smiled when I think about the celebrations which, too, had brought smiles to the many. Despite having only organised a minority, I was simply satisfied from watching the smiles of the many, especially the joyful laughter of the celebrated one. As my thoughts were about to reach its pinnacle, embracing a specific individual, I was shuddered back into reality with a friend calling my name. The clear ringing of her voice reminded me of an important birthday. Her smile signified trust. And I knew I had to be the one to play a role in this celebration. Yes, I was to organise a birthday event for my brother, Adrian, or somewhat better known as Dirty or Kotor. I gleefully accepted this task.

Despite praising myself much in being an organiser who functions above average, the given resources allowed me to conjure only a dinner. However, held in conjunction with another associate of the same birth date, the location and the time was set. I then begin to contact and invite specific individuals mentioned. In the end, it was decided that 12 individuals would attend this dinner at Shogun, Sunway Pyramid.

It was rather disappointing when Ross informed me of an impending issue which caused him to cancel his attendance. However, it was acceptable as his reason was valid. As individuals begin to arrive, I realise that I was again missing another person. In the end, Zaid told me that Syazwan had also failed to attend, having to attend to dinner with his own family as well. Hence, we were left with 2 extra seats. However, after being in contact with Danyal, I was informed that he would arrive. And hence, me and Kenny met them at the entrance of the new wing to escort them back to the restaurant. And it was then when we finally decided that our crew was complete. And hence, we agreed that dinner could commence.

As the dinner began, individuals begin carting food back to their respective seats. Kah Weng began with a plate mounted with a vast quantity of sushi. He claimed that he had the intention to share with the other individuals at the table. However, everyone else begged to differ. Sushi was apparently a starter to most. Strangely, it is believed that this is caused by one's opinion of Japanese food; sushi often comes to mind at first thought. And hence, everyone started their meals with sushi. During the dinner, Kah Weng would also collect the century eggs and attempt to convince the others that they are in fact delicious. He was in much glee when Danyal tried it and agreed. Unfortunately, no one else did. A dish that collected much attention was also the spicy escargots, in which Kotor spent much time teaching Zaid how to pull them out. Apparently, they gave satay sticks for a reason. In the end, Zaid realised that his skills in using a chopstick had its limitations. During dinner, Chi May was sweet in bringing me 5 pieces of mochi. I only realise that I returned the favour, by being bitter, when she remarked that I had left none for her. However, I managed to bring her two, which was green and pink in colour. She had the pink one while Kah Weng had the green one. He didn't enjoy much, being unable to identify the filling. After a final round of sushi, we decided to leave as the restaurant begins to gain vacancy. Before we parted to our own ways, a group picture was taken and hence, we bade goodbyes.

For the next day, Chi May and I collaborated with Wilson to produce a surprise party for Dirty. However, it went slightly awry due to certain factors. Initially, Dirty would pick Chi May early in the morning when she wakes up. The downfall of this part of the plan was that Chi May had no credit and in return, required Dirty to contact her via MSN. Hence, my alarms were in vain as I woke up every hour, beginning from 10 to 1. It was only at 1 when I texted Chi May, reminding her that we had a plan to accomplish today. I was then told to call her; it was through that request that I realised that her credit had expired. I was then rushed to prepare to tag along with Dirty to pick Chi May.

On the way home, we decided to refuel the car. However, after doing so, the engine failed to ignite. Worried, we decided to contact our parents. Our father decided to come, having believe it was caused by a flat battery. Chi May and Sandra headed into the shop of the petrol station due to the sunny weather. As guys, Dirty and I decided to wait by the car. I began to notice ample parking lots - I then suggested that we park the car in it. With him having more experience in driving, he manoeuvred the car while I began to move it. It was a reverse parking; initially, moving the car forward into a suitable position to initiate the reverse was a simple task. However, in doing so, I realised that the car required a wash. It was slightly difficult to initiate the push as our destination was slightly elevated, compared to our start point. However, with the right push, we parked our car. We then entered the shop to meet up with the girls.

Dad arrived within minutes. We then attempted to jumpstart the car via cables using the battery from dad's car. It worked; we bade goodbyes and headed home to change the car. We left shortly and headed to Plaza OUG to have lunch. We moved to Leo's to try the food there. Within minutes of seating and a text message, Wilson and his group of friends surprised Dirty. This included Clarryn, India and Edward. However, Dirty didn't appear surprised. He was rather speechless. Dirty was also presented with a cake. However, he began to suspect when Clarryn managed to lift the cake effortlessly. He opened up to find a bunch of parsley. He was quite speechless about it. We had a few laughs and then had lunch. The food in Leo wasn't satisfying; it lacked much taste as mentioned by many. Therefore, we didn't enjoy lunch much. Many orders were also forgotten. However, we managed to eat, at least. We left after awhile and headed home, bidding another round of goodbyes.

To be honest, I've grown quite tired writing an entry which describes an event. I've seem to lost much of the details after just a few hours; an obvious sign hinting at the growing numbness of my brain. But I'd still put my effort in this, as it is his birthday; and having 21 to be an important figure, this was the least I could do - in scribing a post for him. In the end, growing emotions maintain its position as a large contributing factor to me pouring out on words. At this mediocre mood I'm in, neither negative nor positive, I put my pen down and sign off. At least he's posting something, they say. I smiled. And I muttered silently, 'Happy birthday, once again.'